I have reached the khalas stage. I go to sleep thinking of the million things I have to do. I wake up more tired and exhausted than I was when I went to sleep,

I look back at 2009 and I can’t believe it’s over. And then I can’t believe that we’re already mid-March 2010.

My life is flying by, and I’m too busy doing things to enjoy it.

I can’t remember the last time I was home before 10pm. And I can’t remember the last time I saw my friends.

I’ve traveled to half a dozen countries for work in a couple of months. I work full time. I work part time. I’ve gone back to university. I attend workshops.

I’m totally and utterly drained.

I’ve accomplished more in 2009 than I have in my entire life. I’ve accomplished so, so much.

But I no longer believe in “My candle burns at both ends. It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends – It gives a lovely light.” Who cares if it gives a lovely light if it’s going to burn out asap?

I’m so tired of this breakneck pace. I’ve become a slave to my blackberry.

And my life has become so so unbalanced.

I was away for a week a month ago. I came back and asked my little brother why he never called. His answer: “I didn’t even know you were traveling, I just thought you were busy.”

I miss all family events. Birthdays, weddings, dinners.
I’ve stopped attending Islamic lectures, doing my wird, everything. I barely find time to pray.
I don’t go out with my friends at all. I don’t socialize.

My life has become nothing but work, and I’m not happy. Not at all.

It’s time for change. Radical change.